Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Me vs Cindy and the Bookfair

Just before Christmas, my daughter’s school had a brilliant idea and held a used book fair for the kids. Families were able to donate books (Yay, less stuff in my house!), and then set up just like a regular book fair, but prices were dirt-cheap and kids could go buy whatever they wanted for less than two dollars.

In an even more inspired move, kids were able to purchase books for their family members, and the teachers would help them wrap the books so the kids could give them as Christmas presents. (I’m truly impressed with our school and the creativity of the PAC we have!)

My impatient 6 year old couldn’t wait until Christmas to give us our books, so we got to unwrap them that afternoon. It was very cute.

She got her brother a book about cars, because he loves cars.

She got her dad book 4 of a sci-fi series, because he loves outer space.

She got me a book about a 15 year old girl who didn’t want to go to prom. She picked this particular book because it had a picture of shoes on the cover, and I love shoes.

This was adorable, and so I read it….plus she checked in daily to verify my progress.

And so, in order to justify the time I lost to this literary massacre, here is my book report: 
This is possibly the worst book I’ve read in the last 20 years. Wait no, I read Twilight.  But it was still bad. Really bad.

My mom gives me terrible books to read just so she can talk to me about how terrible the books were, and this was worse than any of those. I should pass this one on to her next, as apparently we’ve formed some kind of informal book club that chooses only shitty books on purpose.

The book is called Cindy Ella. Yes, it’s a really terrible modern play on Cinderella, complete with bitchy step sisters and a step mother who loves nothing more than binge shopping at high-end stores, and can’t understand why Cindy doesn’t. It’s about as shallow a book as you imagine it would be.

Our heroine, Cindy, makes herself feel better by watching 80’s cult classics, like 16 Candles….very original….and eating ice cream. She also writes a hugely unpopular letter to the editor of her school paper about how much prom sucks, in a school/city where going to prom is apparently more popular and important than the moon landing.

And of course she has a huge crush on the most popular boy in the school, because of course she does. Oh, and to make it current, her gay tutor helps dress her up in the end for a date with this hot guy who, as it unsurprisingly turns out, also has a huge crush on her and loved her anti-establishment point of view on prom.

Excuse me a moment, I have to go vomit.

The writing itself was dismal. I realize the 40+ year old writer was trying to channel a 15 year old girl, and hasn’t been that age for quite some time, but sweet lord it was a painful, awkward read.

The one thing I will say for it is that at least in the end the main character didn’t bend her morals or change her opinions just for the sake of a cute boy. Instead he didn’t go to the prom with her… that’s something, right?

I suppose in the end the whole experience could have been worse….I heard rumors that one kid unknowingly bought their unsuspecting parent a copy of 50 Shades Of Grey.

Which begs the question….who donates 50 Shades of Grey to an elementary school book fair???